Recently, a quote really resonated with me:
“‘Claude Monet was nearing the height of the reputation he was to win during his lifetime, producing those water lily masterpieces, when he wrote this letter (in 1912) to his dealer and benefactor, Paul Durand-Ruel: “More than ever today, I realize how artificial is the undeserved fame I have won. I keep hoping to do better...” His latest exhibition was about to open in Paris. “I know beforehand that you’ll say my pictures are perfect. I know that when they are shown they will be much admired, but I don’t care because I know they are bad. I’m certain of it.””
The quote was so good I wrote it down in my sketchbook. The cool dude is my baby brother Ed :)
Monet thought his paintings were bad. Monet doubted himself not any less than I do. If you ask me, that's a good thing to know!
But is it a good thing? Talking about your paintings as being 'bad' is bad marketing. Humility doesn't sell very well. If an artist thinks his paintings are bad, what collector will buy them?
And yet we creative souls are particularly sensitive to our own critical voice. Through the nature of our work, we get to deal with it more than most other people. What makes a difference is how we deal with it:
- Denial of the inner critic. I don't know if it's just me, but I get suspicious when I see an artist without any self-doubt. It seems fake when an artist believes he is a genius and his work is worth millions. It's almost like a performance...nay, that's probably what it is. And who knows what happens behind the scenes. Is it a genuine victory over the critic or is it a show you put on?
- Giving up. This is the option that goes well with depression and insecurity. You pour your heart into your creative work, put it out there, and the viewer/listener/reader doesn't care. They don't buy your painting. 'Of course they don't,' chimes in your inner critic, 'It's bad and you are worthless.' It's incredibly hard to pick yourself up again and pour your heart out again. So you give up.
- Accepting it and being motivated by it. You talk to your critic. 'No, my latest piece is not the best thing ever. I made a mistake here. I need to develop this idea more. I can be so much better.' And you know you have it in you to be better, you can see your work five years in the future. You know it will be hard and you will make more 'bad' art but you will get there.
You are in the 'Gap.'
I think it was in the time of spring 2012, when I came across David Shiyang Liu's lovely piece of work about Ira Glass. It was the most inspiring and motivating video I had ever seen in my life. I watched it over and over again, listened to Ira Glass' voice, and told myself, that I am not the only person who is constantly disappointed about the gap between one's taste and one's skills. Later in 2012, I decided to do my own filmed version of Ira's interview - using my own language to tell his message. It took me about a year from concept to upload. I made it for myself and for anybody who is in doubt about his/her creative career. I also think that Ira Glass' message isn't only limited to the creative industry. It can be applied to everyone who starts out in a new environment and is willing to improve. THANK YOU Ira Glass, whom I've never met in real life, but who had such a big influence on my development. Thank you for telling beginners what nobody else does. David Shiyang Liu for the video that inspired me to start the project. You all should watch his awesome kineticTypo-version here: http://vimeo.com/24715531 The people from current.tv who originally recorded the interview with Ira Glass. See the relevant part here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI23U7U2aUY The people from Magic Lantern who gave DSLR videography a new dimension (I chose this project to be a test run with the RAW plugin)! Steven Sasseville for painting the "taste" painting for me. Pedro Sousa for his advice and working his ass off at the "creative work" chalkboard. Wolfgang Kraus for letting me borrow his sound equipment. Kai Löhnert for working out on his birthday in the "fight" take. Wolfgang Hendrik Schnabel for giving me the museum-like atmosphere and his silhouette in the painting takes. Hermiyas Ötztürk for his hairy "good enough" hand. Orange Hive Studio for light equipment and location. Mima and Heinz Sax-Schmitz for the location of the "ambitions" take and finding me the "finish 1 story" typewriter. Joyce Chen (https://vimeo.com/clownmori), Soufiane Mabrouki (http://vimeo.com/user21466567), Damien Tsenkoff (https://www.behance.net/damtsnkff), Nikita Samutin (www.baselinedesign.ru) and Andrej Mikula (http://amara.org/en/profiles/profile/65015/) for taking the time and patience to create Chinese, Arabic, French, Russian and Slovak subtitles and dissolving language barriers to make even more people understand Ira's words. A SPECIAL THANK YOU Solveig Gold for being the most patient and supporting person in my life. She appears in a lot of scenes in this video. Jutta and Uwe Sax for several pieces of equipment and their support.